Why I’m Building Pare: A Safer Way to Date Over 40

By: Emma Irvine

Thirty years ago, dating looked completely different. People met through friends, at work, or while standing in line at the coffee shop. Today, the majority of relationships start online. While that shift has created opportunity, it’s also opened the door to a darker side of modern dating: fake profiles, scams, and people who are not who they claim to be.

I know this first-hand—not through my own dating life, but through watching my mom navigate it. Like many adults over 40, she turned to the big dating apps. And while they offered a way to meet strangers, I was often left worried. Who were these people really? Could she trust them? And why wasn’t there an app I’d feel safe seeing my own mom use?

That’s the reason behind Pare. We’re creating a dating experience built for adults 40+, where safety and trust come first. Unlike other apps, Pare requires identity verification and criminal record and sex offender registry checks through the same secure systems Fortune 500 companies use to hire employees. That means no more wondering if the person on the other side of the screen is who they say they are.

But Pare is more than just safety. It’s about ease and enjoyment. With our Date Concierge, we help members plan real-world experiences, so dating feels less like swiping endlessly and more like connecting meaningfully.

At the heart of Pare is a simple belief: dating should be safe, dignified, and even exciting again—especially for adults who know what they’re looking for.

This is just the beginning. Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing insights about online dating, safety in the digital age, and what we’re building at Pare. If you’ve ever worried about someone you love getting scammed, or if you’re personally tired of the noise and nonsense of modern apps, I hope you’ll follow along.

Because it’s time dating finally got done right.