Our No-Ghosting Policy

On Pare, ghosting has consequences. We built a platform where mature adults treat each other with respect—or they're removed.

The Ghosting Problem on Dating Apps

Ghosting is rampant on Match, Bumble, and Hinge. Someone confirms a date, you show up, and they don't. Or they just stop responding mid-conversation. It's disrespectful, frustrating, and wastes your time. On mainstream apps, ghosting is ignored—there's no accountability. That's why we built Pare differently.

How Our No-Ghosting Policy Works

Post-Date Feedback is Required

After every confirmed date, both people must provide feedback within 48 hours. You don't have to share details with your date— the feedback goes to Pare privately. We just need to know: Did the date happen? How did it go?

No-Shows Are Flagged Immediately

If someone confirms a date and doesn't show up (without contacting you to cancel or reschedule), and you report it, their account is flagged. We review the situation and take action.

Life happens—we understand emergencies come up. But repeatedly confirming dates and not showing up results in suspension or removal.

Ghosting After Matching Has Consequences

If someone matches with you, messages back and forth, then suddenly stops responding without explanation— that's ghosting. If this becomes a pattern (reported by multiple members), we issue warnings.

Repeat offenders have their accounts suspended or permanently removed. We don't tolerate people who waste others' time.

Your Feedback is Confidential

What you tell us about a date stays private. Your match won't see your specific feedback—they'll only know whether you're interested in a second date or not. We use feedback internally to maintain community standards.

What Counts as Ghosting?

This IS Ghosting:

  • Confirming a date, then not showing up without notice
  • Having an active conversation, then suddenly stopping replies without explanation
  • Saying "let's meet up" and then never responding when they try to plan
  • Going on a date, saying you had a great time, then disappearing

This is NOT Ghosting:

  • Politely saying you're not interested after a date
  • Not responding to someone you haven't matched with yet
  • Canceling a date with notice (even if it's last-minute)
  • Taking time to respond (life gets busy—that's okay)

We understand that life happens. Our policy targets repeat offenders and patterns of disrespectful behavior—not honest mistakes.

Why This Policy Matters

Dating in your 40s, 50s, 60s, or 70s means your time is valuable. Between careers, family responsibilities, and personal commitments, you don't have time to waste on people who aren't serious. Our no-ghosting policy ensures everyone respects that.

Mutual Respect

When everyone knows there are consequences for ghosting, people treat each other with more respect. A simple "not interested" message takes 10 seconds—ghosting wastes hours and causes unnecessary anxiety.

Better Dating Experience

Members report that Pare feels different from other apps. People actually show up for dates. Conversations don't suddenly end. Everyone is held to a higher standard.

Protects Your Time

You've taken time to get ready, arrange childcare, drive to the venue. If someone doesn't show up without warning, that's disrespectful. Our policy ensures this behavior has real consequences.

Builds Trust

Knowing that everyone is verified, background-checked, AND held accountable for their behavior makes dating less stressful. You can trust that your matches are genuine, serious people.

Questions About Our No-Ghosting Policy

What if I need to cancel a date?

Just let your match know ASAP through the messaging system. Even last-minute cancellations are fine as long as you communicate. Life happens—we get it. Ghosting is when you don't communicate at all.

What happens if someone ghosts me?

Report it through the app. We'll review the situation and take appropriate action (warning, suspension, or removal depending on severity and history). Your feedback helps us maintain community standards.

Can someone see my feedback about them?

No. Your post-date feedback is confidential. They'll only know whether you're interested in a second date or not—nothing else.

What if there's a misunderstanding?

We review every report with context. If someone has a valid reason (emergency, miscommunication), we take that into account. We're targeting repeat offenders and patterns of disrespect—not honest mistakes.

Does this mean I'm forced to go on dates?

No. You can decline matches or cancel dates—just communicate. The policy only applies to people who confirm they'll attend, then don't show up or respond.

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